Intoxi'Kath'ing Whispers

I'm procrastinating. I should be doing others things but I just don't feel like doing it. Like planning out my itinerary for my upcoming overseas trip or ironing my clothes. I feel so lazy.... Oh gosh. You know, having a soul adoptee to pray for is tough. But yours truly was greedy enough to adopt 9 living persons as her soul adoptees. Nine!! I'm making my own life tougher. And it is not as if my praying stamina is strong..! I'm lazy... but because I wanted to adopt nine living souls, I have to keep them constantly on my mind and in my prayers. Be it at work, bedtime, bus stop, daydreaming, they are always on my mind....circling round my thoughts. It takes a lot of commitment to pray for them. Sometimes, I struggle to pray, especially during bedtime when I'm half asleep. Or when I get distracted by a passing cat or other annoying humans as I wait at the bus stop. Or even at work where I just try to close my eyes in prayer and the office door opens with someo...

Should I say yes to something??? I'm scared. A lot of "What ifs" and "Buts" play on my mind. I'm just scared. Yet, if I don't try I will never know right? Right?? How do people make this kind of decisions? Huh. Indecisiveness.

Another holiday is approaching. Yay! I can't tell you how much I appreciate these little breaks in between. It lets me breathe and gain back my much needed energy.   Recently, I have been feeling very different. I don't know why... Or perhaps I do but I just don't think I want to pen this down here. I hope this feeling doesn't last long.   Anyway, here's a poem for your viewing. Scary what we as a society can do to other people. Have you ever thought about it?     Something funny to be shared, lol.   Ok, I think this short poem below would describe what I feel at the moment, for which I had no words to say.     This combination of pictures below sent a shiver up my spine... What lies beneath is anyone's guess, as good as mine, as good as yours.     Ok that's all for now... hehehe. I will try to post better posts soon.. Soon. :P   

Curiosity (dissected aka Kathleen style) Curiosity is actually a great advertising tool. Why? People are naturally curious. They want to know about the things that happen around them. It may be in economics, businesses, nature, people, science, technology. Anything and everything at all. This is actually how we have all the different kinds of people working in different kinds of fields. When people are curious, they will want to know about the things that they are naturally curious about. Curiosity comes into play in advertising. Can't remember when, but Hitz.fm once had an event that was not fully explained, which was to take place in the Curve. It was something about two of their DJs being 'punished' by the boss (not sure). People were so curious about it, comments were everywhere about what was actually going to happen. The event was quite talked about during that time. That is an advertisement. It is free too! The same goes for learning. You have to be curio...

My 'Merdeka' came one day late...hahaha. I am finally done with my exams. Yay! Yay! *does a little dance* Why is it that all my exams fall around public holidays....Sigh... Anyway, I cannot believe that it has been one year!!! One year of my masters studies... Hahah. I am halfway there.. How time flies...Keep it up Kathleen. But the truth is... At times, I can't wait for it to end. At times, I wonder why I took this step. At times, I wonder if it will be worth it in the end. All these feelings become stronger during the times when I suddenly feel overwhelmed by it all. Sometimes, I feel like an idiot for doing this. Sometimes, I envy the free time my friends seem to have. Sometimes, I wish I have never started studying. Yet... If I didn't take this step, I would not have met my current uni friends. I would not have learned about the basics of accounting, I would not have understood my own personality, I would not have enjoyed the laws in business. S...

Am I doing thigs right? Sometimes, I can't help but wonder if what I am doing is good enough. I struggle to be the perfectionist that I am, unfortunately. I want this to go this way, and that to happen that way. But it rarely ever happens. In fact, the opposite does. The classes you are so worried about turn out to fine. Great even! The classes which you thought you were in control of, turned out to be horrendous.... Lesson: Just go into class with an open mind. Expect the worst but hope for the best. On a little side note... hehehe. Sigh. I scolded a little boy in my class today. He's about 4-5 years old. He was being naughty till the extent his classmates couldn't take it. He didn't like being scolded by me... haha. He crossed his arms in front of himself, sat very straight on his stool and ignored me. I ignored him too as I had to go through the lesson with the rest. As the bell rang and the kids got ready to leave, I took this little boy to the s...

The items below are, of course, not for sale. These pictures just give us a representation of how different people view advertisements and products differently. Just like how, a smartphone worth RM 2000+ means a lot to me. So does the same amount which can be used to feed the poor people in some poverty-stricken countries. Ok, I will stop complaining now about how I lack funds for a lot of things, especially for a phone. :) At least I have all my basics covered, eh? And I can still afford a handbag. Hahahaha. Mei you qiong dao zen yang la....kua zhang er yi. :P

It's the month of December now. The closing of another year, this time it's 2012. As I prepare to close this chapter of my life, the story I have written for 2012, I actually thought I would be closing another sub-chapter as well. Let's just say that I was very prepared to just sign off at the bottom of the chapter page, "Yours lovingly, Kathleen. The End." And start off with a fresh and clean page with a new chapter title. I was heading in that direction. I felt very tired, I felt drained. I felt like everything I did just didn't seem to be right. I felt I was being a pain in everyone's butt. I gave up and didn't want to give another thought anymore. Everything was crashing down and I felt like I was stuck in a sand pit. Everytime I struggled to get up, or I managed to shake off some sand, more sand was being thrown at me again. I was drowning in that sand pit and when I gulped for air, I swallowed sand instead. So, I ...

Many hearts are hungry tonight.   Many trapped in darkness yearn for the light.   So many who are from home and many who are lost…   Help me to begin where I am.   Help me love the people near to my heart.   Love the world through me, untill I have touched them all.   Forgive me for I know not what I did.   And do.   -Edited-

Hello all, Awww... Isn't this cute? I find it very true and meaningful in a way. I love the way the guy's face was drawn in the last picture. Hahaha. An adorable, satisfied kind of look. This is dedicated to all you guys out there (and girls too) who seem to find themselves not good enough for the other or another.  How do you know you are not good for the other and why do you say so? There must have been something in you that attracted the other person to you in the first place, right? For those who lack self confidence, well, I can't say much. Hahaha. I know how it is. I struggle with it too. But, why compare ourselves to others? ("Smart" words coming from me, bleah.) It's like comparing a fish and a bird. Fishes swim, birds fly.  Fishes die in the air, birds drown in the water. Right? (Hmm... but both are eaten by cats, ooppss, wrong comparison, LOL!) Yea, soo.... :D So, I sincerely wish the best for all of you out there, who ar...

Ladies and gentlemen, In view of all the recent crime incidents, robberies, car smash ins, murder attempts etc. please be extra vigilant in whatever you do. Be it crossing a simple junction, Walking from one shopping centre to the one next door, Getting into/out of your car, In your car at the traffic light junctions, Withdrawing money, Parking into your house compound, Shopping malls, Carparks, Toilets. Be very careful and alert. I am not going to tell you how to defend yourself. We may all learn this by heart but when the time comes, panic often overcomes our rationality and we react accordingly. Girls, we can no longer assume that we will always be ok wherever we are. I thought I did. I was wrong. Today, as I was walking from Subang Parade to Carrefour, something happened that chilled me to the bones. It was a bit of a wakeup call that made me realise that I am also vulnerable. I was calm outside but inside I was panicking. Good thing t...

I was Facebooking (what kind of word is this?!) the other day and I came across the profile of my secondary school classmate's brother. He passed away last year, after a battle with lung cancer. And guess what, if he were still alive today, he'd be sitting for his SPM in four months time... I teared a bit reflecting on how precious life is. Yet, people take it so lightly. They take theirs for granted and they even take other's life for granted like killing and murdering. Death, to me, was always associated with old people. You know, people with white hair, no teeth, wrinkly skin, that kind. But for the past year, I have heard of deaths of people younger than me. Sickness, accidents.. They kind of make me sit up straight in my chair and think. "We could die any moment." Honestly. Who says the Grim Reaper ain't gonna get you if you're young? It was heart wrenching when I saw friends of the boy, posting on his FB wall, wishing him wel...

"Robert Frost wrote, “ Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired .” There is some truth in that. We all want to be loved but just do not how to do it. However, to truly allow someone to love you all barriers have to be dropped. Walls must be broken down. You must allow yourself to be vulnerable. I detest my vulnerability. Again, I am a coward. I don’t like to let people in. I don’t want them to know that I am worn out; I am tired; I am jaded. I have been hurt one too many times. I have misjudged what love really is one too many times. Ultimately, my inability to let those who would love me into the deepest core of my being is based on my fear that this will result in my loss. " My sentiments exactly.... The writer above literally took the words out of my mouth. Enough said. :) God bless.

Sometimes, you never know. You never know that the person, with whom you are friends now, used to suffer from low self esteem. She used to be depressed, felt worthless and could never learn to love herself. She despised how she looked and wished truly with all her heart, how she could look just like other girls out there. Prettier, smarter, cooler. She struggled with herself for years... Going to school with only a cup of Milo for breakfast, resisting the urge to eat at recess, holding that hunger in check till she went home for lunch. How she drastically cut down her rice intake at home, from one bowl to half to a quarter and sometimes to two thirds of it. You never know what happened during her younger days, her history which she keeps hidden and untold, because of the humiliation and pain she endured. You never know that the person, whom you have become friends with, work with, exercise with, chat with, yum cha with, was once ponited at and called ugly by the opposite sex...

The times and trends, changes so fast, that I can barely keep up with. Trend #1 Smartphones I do not have a smart phone. I only have a less smart phone la. I'm sorry. I am totally clueless when it comes certain to technologies and to think of the days, when I used to teach my PARENTS how to use their big dinosaur mobile phones. Today, I am being taught by my younger sister on how to play with her smart phone. The day of judgment  came when my 8 year old cousin brother (he's so adorable) joined me on the bed carrying his own smart phone. "Jie jie, you know how to play Angry Birds?" I answered him accompanied with a pitiful expression. "I don't know wor." He went, "Ha? You don't know ah?!" He was in a shock. Lol. But he was so cute, he said, "Oh, I show you how to play." Then I finally knew what Angry Bird was... Some birds bombarding evil pigs... (I used to think why bird, why not angry dog or cat... *shy*) Another thing about ...

Aww.... I'm so touched. :) I never believed that someone could remember me cause of what I did. A guy whom I met at church (I mentioned him before I think), said that he remembered me (working in my present company after a year) because of two things. One, I was the first female he saw working there. (Novelty is wearing off now...hahaha.) Two, I was quite nice to him. THIS is exactly the kind of satisfaction in life I am looking for. To be able to reach out to all people. To be able to bring joy and laughter. To be able to touch their hearts someday, someway. At least when I die, people will remember the good things I did that made a difference in their life. :D

Happy new year again! How has the first week of the new year been for you? :) For me, well, I once again have a direction in my life. I think I finally do.  I have goals and resolutions (bite-sized) to work forward to. Resolutions which are now more workable and acheivable. Goals which are hopefully met, if not, I have to look for another goal to aim for. Some matters which I think I now have answers to. Others which are at the wait and see stage. Failing which, then at least I know the answers too. The last two months kinda broke my heart. Hahah. Not heart as in love stuff though, I think the door to that department is closed and locked to me. Huh. Haha. Heart as in general stuff. The things which were said really broke me. No, scratch that. Not things. That sentence. Only one sentence. Six words. I have stopped shedding tears or feeling upset about it. Things return to normal but when I recall those few words said to me that day, the pain and the unexpectedness of it just hu...

It's a brand new year and a brand new day. I hate this time of the year. Honestly, I have told myself many times. It's just a day. New Year's day that's what it is, which if you think about it, it is. After a day or two, everyone goes back to their normal living routine of the year. Then as the end of another year passes, there goes another big hoo-ha. The cycle continues. On and on and on.... Why then am I so reluctant to let go of the old year and step into the new one? Is it because I feel as if I have not fully written in the pages of my life for the year 2011? That there are still so many empty pages to fill? That I feel I am unable to give this chapter of my life a proper closure and say adios to it? Or is it because I fear of what is to come? Since no one can predict the future accurately, we never know what is going to happen. The uncertainty... It's just a day. That's all that it is. Why do people make resolutions for every year? Why not every mon...

Christmas is like.... five days away. Oh my goodness me.... Huh... The Christmas tree in my house just got set up. Seriously, you wouldn't know the people living in my house celebrated Christmas as our house looks bare!! This Christmas itself I hear of two deaths. Death... so close, during this time of the year. It feels so wrong... Christmas should be about joy, happiness and others...not death. Yet the Grim Reaper chooses not his time. I ran out of time to do something for Christmas. Sigh. Cause it's always about me, me, me. What I want for Christmas and stuff. Then I got slapped in the face (ok, not really but a wake up call). I have so much going for me, why was I complaining? Instead of wanting something for Christmas, why don't I do something for Christmas for other people? Well, I tried. I joined the carolling practice sessions. Haha. Didn't make it on the day itself. Too bad we no longer sing in the shopping malls. There are other things that I am doing and ...

2011 comes to a close in 30 more days.... What has changed? Have I changed? If yes, for better or for worse? If not, should I have? I HAVE changed. For worse I feel. I have become less confident. My self esteem has taken a hit. This whole year, I feel that I have been very unstable. I used to be very sure of myself. But somehow, I feel like I have lost a bit of me. The time I spend feeling down has increased exponentially, so fast till a point that it has started to scare me. What the heck is wrong??? I am not like this! I am not. I don't want to be like this. Pathetic! Sigh. See? Even this post has a down and melancholic tone in it. I am so confused that I do not know what to do. Even if I do, how to go about doing it? Is it the right choice? Will I regret my decision later? Christmas, where are you? Coldness is in my heart, clenching its fist tightly as the days go by. So cold, I fear I become like that too. A cold person, a heartless human being. An emot...