A Melancholy Me

2011 comes to a close in 30 more days....

What has changed?

Have I changed?
If yes, for better or for worse?
If not, should I have?

I HAVE changed. For worse I feel.
I have become less confident.
My self esteem has taken a hit.
This whole year, I feel that I have been very unstable.

I used to be very sure of myself. But somehow, I feel like I have lost a bit of me.

The time I spend feeling down has increased exponentially, so fast till a point that it has started to scare me. What the heck is wrong???

I am not like this! I am not. I don't want to be like this. Pathetic! Sigh.
See? Even this post has a down and melancholic tone in it.

I am so confused that I do not know what to do. Even if I do, how to go about doing it?
Is it the right choice?
Will I regret my decision later?
Christmas, where are you? Coldness is in my heart, clenching its fist tightly as the days go by.
So cold, I fear I become like that too.
A cold person, a heartless human being. An emotion-less Kathleen.

No... wait, I think I know what I need and have to do now. 

Comments

Lai Tee @ Grace said…
Kath, If you free, you can but this book & read, Title: Decision Making By The Book, Author: Haddon W. Robinson, perhaps it helps in making decision... I'm reading this at the moment.
Sunday, December 04, 2011 11:39:00 PM
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