To Be Happy

I have been feeling very emotional these few days...
Could it be that time of the month?
Could it be that I put too much pressure on myself?
Could it be that I expect too much from my kids?
Could it just be something else...?

I thought I escaped from the world's cruel eye and perception of beauty.
Something that killed me and my confidence terribly during the last few years.
I enjoy being the apple of my kids' eyes.
To them, you are just their 'auntie'.
They look up at you as you tell them stories.
They cry when you take away their 'rewards'.
They laugh when you say silly things.
They ask you things when they are curious as to what you are up to. (I have tricks up my sleeves for them, hehe.)
They come searching for you when they need to go to the toilet. (Don't ask...)
I enjoy all that.
The freedom of being away from the media-crazed world and their outlook of what defines beauty in a woman.

I have been able to feel loved and cared for even in my most ugly moments.
When my temper flared, when words that came out of my mouth was out of this world, when my smile was replaced with a frown, or even when my hair was in a disarray (the most obvious sign of frustration).
Even in my nude face, with my spectacles, white polo tee, baggy shorts and silly beach flipflops, I felt happy to be who I am. I did not need to succumb and do whatever the world told me to. I was very happy. (Too happy... now fat, lol.)
It was very surprising, actually. Hahaha.
I am very grateful.

I just want to be myself and be happy with the person that I am.

Contrary to what a lot of people may be thinking, I am doing this for myself.                    

:)                                                          

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

To Mr. KT

This post is written in honour of (no, scratch that), is written with the objective to give someone a piece of my mind. (Want my cerebrum or medulla oblongata?) Firstly, this person complained that I did not update my blog often enough. Then he said, "Kenny Sia updates everyday." Yeah right, it's not everyday la Tai Kor! And why compare me to him? I'm so tiny and puny in the blogsphere. Heh. Anyway, I'm super busy and super tired and has had no inspiration whatsoever to blog about anything till today. (Thanks to somebody...) Before I go into the second part, for all those who have yet to hear about it, (it's been publicized in her FB), my sister, Eileen is now formally engaged to her sweetheart of six, seven years. Congrats to my dear dear sister. Finally, eh? Hahah. The second part is related to this. Not referring to my sis, but me. Our good friend who complained that I don't update often, had the gall/balls (Grr...) to 'insult' me. When I sh...
Read more

Of Vampires and Werewolves

I've never really been an ardent fan of the Twilight series(boo...says you). And I have no idea why some girls go gaga over Edward the vampire. He looks so paste-y with the bloodshot eyes (yea yea he's supposed to look that way). And bleah! I think he looked way hotter in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire as Cedric Diggory . That, I can go gaga. But in Twilight??? The romance between Edward and Bella is fine. Romantic, mushy and cliched. Heh. But there's nothing much for me to shout about. (Sorry to the ardent fans, esp to my three sisters. Ha.) This year, the next sequel in this series is about to be released tentatively in November. Known as New Moon , the title is definitely appropriate since the werewolves play a bigger role this time. I didn't read any of the books in the Twilight series though my sisters finished the whole lot of it. So there's no doubt I have no idea of what's going on in the next book. But judging from this trailer of the next sequ...
Read more

My Future???

After thinking for a while, (ok, not a while but many whiles) I have finally decided what to do after I graduate (hopefully) in May this year. I have narrowed it down to two options. Sigh. Either I continue my studies and proceed wtih Masters (God, help me..) or I apply for this work and travel thing to US for six months. Will see how it goes... see which comes first. If it's the latter, I'd most probably miss my Convocation. If the former is first, the latter will no longer be on my list. We'll see we'll see. :) P/S: Applying for masters has nothing to do with what the government has allocated to help the economy.
Read more